We’ve all felt it: the energy that comes from knowing we matter — that our contributions are valued and our presence makes a difference. And we’ve felt the opposite: being overlooked, sidelined, or treated as replaceable.
In my recent Working on Purpose conversation with Dr. Isaac Prilleltensky, co-author of How People Matter: Why It Affects Health, Happiness, Love, Work, and Society, we explored why mattering is far more than a nice idea. It’s a measurable, actionable driver of well-being, engagement, and performance — and one of the most urgent leadership priorities today.
The Dual Needs at the Heart of Mattering
Mattering rests on two essential, interconnected needs:
- Feeling valued — being appreciated, respected, and recognized.
- Adding value — making contributions that create real impact.
When both are present, they form a reinforcing cycle: recognition fuels contribution, and meaningful contribution deepens recognition. Break that cycle, and people stagnate or burn out.
The Four Arenas Where It Plays Out
These needs operate across self, relationships, work, and community. Gains or losses in one arena ripple into the others. That’s why a healthy workplace can strengthen confidence at home, and why exclusion in community life can erode engagement at work.
The Cost of Not Mattering
The absence of mattering feeds what Dr. Prilleltensky calls “the crisis of our time”: personal devaluation, relational disconnection, workplace disengagement, and community fragmentation. People who don’t feel they matter may withdraw into depression or push outward with entitlement or aggression — neither is healthy for them or the systems they’re in.
From “Me Culture” to “We Culture”
A Me Culture says, “I have the right to feel valued so I can be happy.”
A We Culture says, “We all have the right and responsibility to feel valued and to add value so everyone experiences wellness and fairness.”
Leaders play a pivotal role in this shift — by building fairness into systems, valuing relational contributions alongside productive ones, and holding themselves accountable for fostering dignity and reciprocity.
The Leadership Mandate
Leaders who embed mattering into daily operations unlock more than engagement — they create the conditions for innovation, collaboration, and resilience. That means:
- Noticing and acknowledging people’s specific contributions
- Creating opportunities for meaningful impact
- Ensuring fairness in decisions, rewards, and recognition
- Modeling dignity and generosity in every interaction
Mattering isn’t a program or a perk. It’s the foundation of a thriving workplace and a healthy society. And as a leader, you’re either cultivating it — or allowing its absence to erode the very culture you’re responsible for.
Listen to the full conversation with Dr. Isaac Prilleltensky to explore the science, stories, and strategies behind building a culture where everyone knows they matter.
🎙 Listen to the episode → HERE
📖 Read the full newsletter → HERE
