Emotions often get a bad rep. When we say someone is “emotional” or “sensitive,” it’s not usually registered as a compliment.
Yet, our emotions aren’t problems — they’re our wise guides. This is a learning I’ve been championing in my leadership programs for a while now. Beyond embracing “emotional intelligence,” I have found it incredibly fulfilling (and productive) to help leaders and their teams get in touch with their emotions, what they’re trying to tell them, and help them learn healthy ways to move through the intelligence that comes from emotions.
Which is why I absolutely had to have Karla McLaren of Emotion Dynamics on my Working on Purpose podcast to talk about her grand unified theory and system of understanding emotions. Oh my gosh, I learned SO much about myself and how to better help my clients navigate their emotions by reading her book, The Language of Emotions: A Practical Guide to Reveal the Wisdom in Each of Your Feelings workbook.
For instance, she says every emotion holds wisdom and power, from anger’s boundary-setting to fear’s intuition, anxiety’s drive, sadness’ calm, and the contentment of self-worth. When we learn to decode our emotions, we can unlock the gifts they bring to improve our health, relationships, and results across life. McLaren describes 17 core emotions and situates that each have three nuances, from soft, to medium, to intense. Consider the two emotions of fear and joy and their nuances:
Fear: The gift and skills in it include: curiosity, intuition, instincts, focus, clarity, attentiveness, readiness, and vigor. The question to ask ourselves to better understand the wisdom behind this emotion is: What action should be taken? The nuances of fear are:
Soft fear: alert, instinctive, intuitive, watchful
Medium fear: afraid, focused, unsettled, vigorous
Intense fear: frenzied, hyperactivated, laser focused, petrified
Now, let’s look at the emotion of joy through a similar view. The gifts and skills in joy include expansion, communication, inspiration, radiance, splendor, and bliss. The question we can ask ourselves to better understand and incorporate the gifts of joy are “what brings me deep connection and infinite expansion?” and the action we take is “How do I integrate this radiant experience?” The nuances of joy are:
Soft joy: encouraged, inspired, open, peaceful
Medium joy: excited, expanded, joyful, ungrounded
Intense joy: blissful, euphoric, manic, overjoyed
Reading this far, you’ll likely recognize you use a limited emotional vocabulary to name and get in touch with your own emotions. And likely, your team members do the same. Imagine the world of connection, creativity, and encouragement you can help usher into your relationships at home and at work. Productivity rises right alongside fulfillment.
Dive into this episode, drink in its wisdom as you move away from repressing or simply expressing your emotions – and learn to channel them effectively. Enjoy!
